Sept. 9, 2025

How Single Moms Can Turn Childhood Trauma Into Healing Power for Their Families

Introduction

As a single mom, I've learned that our past experiences shape us, but they don't have to define us. The journey of healing from childhood trauma is a powerful one, and it's a path that can lead to incredible growth and transformation. Today, I want to share some insights from my conversation with Amanda Carrasco, author of Becoming the Brave One: My Journey to Justice, about how we can turn our pain into healing power.

Acknowledging the Impact of Trauma

The first step in our healing journey is recognizing how our past experiences have influenced our present. Amanda shared her own realization:

"I didn't like who I was, I didn't like the decisions that I was making and I didn't know what to do with it."

This moment of clarity is crucial. It's when we start to see the connection between our childhood experiences and our current struggles. For many of us, this might manifest in:

Low self-esteem
Difficulty in relationships
Undervaluing ourselves in career opportunities
Struggles with parenting

Breaking the Cycle for Our Children

As single moms, we have a unique opportunity and responsibility. Amanda beautifully expressed this:

"I knew that I couldn't give something to my children that I didn't have. How do I give them confidence if I don't have it? How do I show them to be brave if I'm not brave?"

This realization can be a powerful motivator. Our healing isn't just for us, it's for our children too. By working on ourselves, we're creating a new legacy of strength and resilience for our families.

Practical Steps for Healing

Seek Professional Help: Don't be afraid to reach out to therapists or counselors who specialize in trauma.
Explore Restorative Justice: Amanda's work in restorative justice offers a unique approach to healing, especially for those who've experienced crime or abuse.
Connect with Community: Finding support groups or connecting with other single moms can provide invaluable support and understanding.
Practice Self-Compassion: Be gentle with yourself as you navigate this journey. Healing takes time.

Embracing Bravery in Small Steps

Amanda's book title, "Becoming the Brave One," speaks to an essential part of the healing process – courage. But bravery doesn't always mean grand gestures. As Amanda puts it:

"It's really about finding those little ways and places that we need to be brave. It might be confronting the person that harmed you. It might just be getting out of bed, because sometimes getting out of bed takes bravery."

For us single moms, bravery might look like:

Setting a boundary with a toxic family member
Applying for that job we think we're not qualified for
Asking for help when we're overwhelmed
Sharing our story with a trusted friend

Building a Support Network

Healing doesn't happen in isolation. Amanda emphasizes the importance of community:

"We are harmed in community, and we will heal in community."

As single moms, it's critical to build a support network. This might involve:

Reconnecting with supportive family members
Joining local mom groups or online communities
Volunteering in your community
Seeking out mentors or role models

Embracing Your Journey of Growth

Healing from childhood trauma is not a linear process. There will be setbacks and challenges along the way. But as Amanda shared:

"The successes that I have at this point in terms of who I am as a person, successes that I've seen in terms of, you know, going back to school and pursuing my dream... I wouldn't trade it."

Your journey of healing and growth is uniquely yours. Embrace it, celebrate the small victories, and know that with each step, you're not only changing your own life but creating a brighter future for your children.

Remember, you are stronger than you know. Your past experiences have given you resilience and wisdom. By choosing to heal and grow, you're turning your pain into a powerful force for positive change in your life and the lives of your children.