SoloMoms! Talk
March 28, 2022

You Are Your Best Self-Healer w/Carrie Leaf

You Are Your Best Self-Healer w/Carrie Leaf

The best way to heal is to focus on all aspects of our wellbeing. Psychotherapist & Mindset Coach, Carrie Leaf shares with us her expertise on how we can self heal.

Carrie aims to identify where we're stuck, identify where we're repeating patterns, and ultimately identify our negative belief systems in life that are keeping us stuck or holding us back from anything and everything.

Because getting unstuck can lead us to a more fulfilling, happy life.

Connect with Carrie: www.carrieleaf.com or IG: @carrieleafcoaching

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Carrie Leaf

[00:00:00] J.Rosemarie: I guest today's Carrie Leaf. thanks for coming and talking to us today, Carrie. [00:00:04] Carrie Leaf: Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited. [00:00:07] J.Rosemarie: Yes, [00:00:07] for sure. I'm glad to have you. And I'm looking forward to getting to know you better and, uh, for audience to hear about you. So tell us about. [00:00:17] Yeah. [00:00:17] Carrie Leaf: So I am a practicing psychotherapist and holistic mindset coach. [00:00:22] I, I work what I've focused on lately in my practice are kind of niche down to, I guess I should say, is identifying. Where people are stuck, identifying where they're repeating patterns and ultimately identifying their negative belief systems in life that are keeping them stuck or holding them back, from anything, everything, a more fulfilling, happy. [00:00:45] Uh, life and identifying those, clearing them out, replacing them with positive belief systems, empowering people to take charge of themselves, their life, their health, their mental health, all of the above. [00:01:00] Um, and that's where I'm at at now. Prior, I have jumped around to tons of different, um, mental health clinical settings. [00:01:08] And this is what I've landed. [00:01:10] J.Rosemarie: Okay. All right. [00:01:11] Great. Thank you for sharing. what brought you to, addressing the. You know, the issues that affect [00:01:18] Carrie Leaf: them. Yeah. Good question. So, I've known for a long time that this is what I was going to do. I've I've known I would be in the mental health, helping field in some way, shape or form since about middle school, um, for a handful of different reasons, but along the lines, what, what landed me to, where I kind of specify and specialize and now is since I've been practicing for 15 years, Um, and some change, you know, like I said, I've worked with a lot of different populations, mental health, substance abuse, university setting, um, outpatient, residential, uh, military. [00:01:58] All kinds of [00:02:00] different populations for different reasons, different issues. And it came down to seeing over that time and in my practice, the things that worked, the things that didn't work in, the things that I was repeating myself over and over again with, with every single client, no matter the age, the population, the gender, the race, no matter what. [00:02:18] Right. Um, and that led me to. Kind of developing my step-by-step approach, that I'm going to walk anybody through and the importance of taking a holistic approach, looking at mind, body spirit, which might not necessarily be the most popular or widely used approach in mental health. But, you know, in wellness in general, they're just so interconnected and to work on one without the other, it doesn't make sense. [00:02:46] You know, they're in our society, they're disconnected. And that doesn't make sense. So seeing what works and what doesn't work and where I've seen the most progress with my clients, that's, what's landed me here. [00:02:57] J.Rosemarie: Okay. [00:02:58] All right. And [00:03:00] I mean, it makes sense that, you know, mental health, um, is interconnected with our other, other, with other aspects of our lives. [00:03:09] And you know, I'm no expert in the field, but from experience, I can tell that I, when I don't eat. I don't feel well. So, you know, I, when I don't sleep well, I don't act well. So, you know, I understand that it's all interconnected and most solo moms, most moms can relate to that because [00:03:33] Carrie Leaf: we're so tired. [00:03:35] We're always [00:03:36] J.Rosemarie: tired. I'm tired. Yeah, of course. One thing could always lead to another. So, let's talk about your book briefly. it's written now, right? It's it's yes. [00:03:47] Carrie Leaf: Yes. It was released on Amazon. Okay. [00:03:51] J.Rosemarie: And tell us about the book. They tell us the title, so we could go look for it and, and talk about why you wrote it and what, you know, briefly what it's [00:03:59] Carrie Leaf: [00:04:00] from. [00:04:00] Yeah. The title is therapize yourself and the book was just a, really a spilling out of, like I mentioned, all of those things that I found myself repeating over and over again. So it, it broke down. It breaks down. My process, um, kind of what it's going to feel like if you walk in to see me for, therapy or coaching, here's, here's what we're going to do. [00:04:25] Here's what it's going to look like. It's kind of that I see it that as that bridge between somebody that's. Wants help has never asked for professional help. maybe they're just starting to dabble. You don't want, they want to do some self-help. Um, and it can be that bridge between working on yourself and then getting ready to walk into therapy or coaching and having then having an understanding an idea of what. [00:04:49] Look like, and feel like, and what the process might be. Cause it's scary. It is scary to ask for help and it's scary to reach out and there's a stigma and there's lots of thoughts [00:05:00] and feelings behind it. Um, The first chunk is really here's my process. Here's what it looks like. Here's what it feels like.[00:05:08] I'm trying to encourage and motivate there's exercises along the way. And then towards the end, um, you know, the first half is this kind of an assessment process kind of scanning your life, assessing your life, where you're at, where we need to work on. And then after that we're going into, okay, let's dig a little deeper. [00:05:25] What's the real issue you want to work on? Do you want to work on, um, stress, anxiety, relationships, parenting, what do you want to work on? And, and then we had to jump into and figure out what's the negative belief behind your problem, your issue. and it's, it's really. To be, you know, a lot of my clients have been with me for a long time and they've grabbed the book and they've gotten the feedback of, wow. [00:05:50] This was just a great refresher reminder for me to check in to different areas and environments in my life that I kind of has forgotten about. Cause I've been [00:06:00] tending to another one. Right. [00:06:02] J.Rosemarie: Right. Okay. So you can be a stepping stone to what. you know, therapy persons person or, and alongside going alongside of while you're getting professional help. [00:06:14] Carrie Leaf: Absolutely. Yes. [00:06:16] J.Rosemarie: All right. [00:06:16] Great. So we'll put a link to your book in the show notes, so people could get that, you know, I think there maybe few of us who don't need therapy. [00:06:29] Carrie Leaf: I had never met anyone yet. Then couldn't benefit. I have therapy right after this, [00:06:35] J.Rosemarie: actually. Yeah. So, you know, that should be helpful. [00:06:40] so what, what is the most, uh, what are the most common problems, you know, that we face. might impact our lives on a broader basis, um, that you help people with. [00:06:56] Carrie Leaf: Yeah. If we're looking broad, [00:07:00] it's, it's the negative beliefs and it's the patterns. Every single one of us is walking around. With one or 10 negative belief systems. [00:07:11] Now this is generally on a subconscious level. You know, we're not walking around telling ourselves these things consciously all day, every day. Some of us are, you know, some of us are aware of, um, you know, but even if we're aware of some, there could be deeper rooted ones that we're not aware of. And so that. [00:07:29] Uh, it doesn't matter what you got going on in your life. I promise you there's a negative belief system behind it. And that is actually the true problem. Um, you know, people will walk into my office and they're coming for a zillion different reasons, but what they're coming for and what they tell me, they want to work on doesn't necessarily end up. [00:07:49] Being the real issue that we need to work on. Right. So I do work with a lot of anxiety relationship stuff. now here's the thing. I work with so much [00:08:00] trauma, but people aren't coming into my office saying I've got to work on my trauma or even realizing that it is trauma, but I, with a lot of trauma, there's the big T trauma and the little T trauma. [00:08:11] And. People don't always necessarily li uh, see those little T traumas as adding up to be pretty profound in their belief system and how they feel about themselves. [00:08:21] J.Rosemarie: Right. [00:08:22] Yeah, that's true. I saw a therapist for a long time, maybe 10 years. And when I went to him, I, I went to him because I felt overwhelmed as a solo mom. [00:08:35] And it just looked like I needed somebody to talk to. But during those 10 years, I was able to get stuff out that. You know, I hadn't dealt with. And so a lot of times we don't even know what we want [00:08:54] until we sit on the couch and start talking to Carrie or whomever. [00:09:00] Right. [00:09:00] Carrie Leaf: And [00:09:00] ultimately, We do know we're the only ones that know, but we don't know how to get there without a guide. Right. And I like how you mentioned that you came into therapy for overwhelm because so many people feel or believe that they need. [00:09:17] Uh, major, severe problem, like a debilitating problem to jump into therapy. Well, my problems aren't that big or I've never been, I don't have trauma or whatever. No stress. We're all stressed. We're all stressed. We can all benefit from having someone help navigate those waters. [00:09:34] J.Rosemarie: Yeah. [00:09:35] Yeah. Yes. For sure. I think.[00:09:38] Sometimes just having someone to talk to an impartial person, you know, it's not your parents or your friends or your kids. This is someone who doesn't really know much about your life when you can freely talk to them. and my therapist, I love because. He didn't talk back a lot. I could just throw [00:10:00] things at him. [00:10:00] And he was, he was quite happy sitting there and letting me talk to him. And, and so I think it's a valuable tool in our arsenal self care to have a therapist or whomever, whatever professional we need. I also liked that you incorporate, you know, the different aspects of our lives into. the mental health part. [00:10:27] So tell us a bit, a little bit more of that work and then, you know, tell us how we can get in touch with you. [00:10:34] Carrie Leaf: Yes. So, you know, taking the holistic approach, like I said, it, it, it might not necessarily be the most popular method. Um, people shy away from it or separate them, but the hair. So they're so interconnected and, and I gotta meet clients where they're at. [00:10:51] If they're not ready to go to a certain area, that's okay. We'll get there when we get there, you know, one baby step at a time, but you know, there's so much [00:11:00] science now behind. The gut health, you know, the three, brains, our brain, our head, our heart and our gut, because those can relearn, they're the three brains because they can rewire, they can relearn. [00:11:12] And, they're powerful and they're interconnected. And if our gut health or, you know, our, our physical health is off. We are not able to process well, we are not able to, be clear-minded and make good healthy decisions. And then, you know, um, the issues or the stress or the overwhelm or the problems in our life snowball from there.[00:11:33] You know, we can work on mental health symptoms all day long and therapy or coaching. But if you are sleeping three hours a night, eating fast food every single day and not moving your body at all, we are going to be extremely limited in the progress that you make, because what sometimes. Looking like mental health symptoms are actually derived from physical health issues that are trying to like [00:12:00] your, your body is like, the car alert, you know, the, the alerts signals in your car, like low oil engine check engine, you know, those mental health symptoms can sometimes straight up be physical health symptoms and it goes the other way around too. [00:12:13] Our mental health symptoms can cause. You know, irritable bowel syndrome or ulcers or whatnot, you know, like they go, it goes both ways. So to look at one without the other, we could really be barking up the wrong tree. And I have just seen major drastic improvement in, in my own, in my client's life. When they start going down that physical health journey. [00:12:35] And then they're like, wow, my mental health problems aren't as severe. And now I have a more solid foundation to address them from. [00:12:43] J.Rosemarie: Yeah, [00:12:44] that makes it makes absolute sense. I mean, it's like, you know, your blood pressure is high, here's a pill as opposed to let's see why your blood pressure is high. [00:12:54] Carrie Leaf: Yes. [00:12:55] J.Rosemarie: So, I, I appreciate that you're working on that level [00:13:00] because it's a more, I think, an intelligent, level for you to work with. [00:13:04] so tell me, what is Carrie grateful for today? [00:13:08] Oh, good question. You know, I am always going to go to health, just being grateful for good health. And, um, let's see if I dive into that anymore. I, you know, the, the second one would be mindset that, uh, I can appreciate that I can work on and change and rewire my mindset to be grateful more often to, yeah.[00:13:36] Thank you for sharing. And one piece of advice, you'd give a solo mom [00:13:42] Carrie Leaf: What, I would give a solo mom is, you know, if advice is, is give yourself grace. You know, we have so many, we have so many messages within our own head and [00:14:00] from the world of how we should be. And I want solo moms to take the sherds out of there and the comparing out of there and relate to, and connect to their humanness and be, you know, give grace for. [00:14:15] You know, what, whatever they didn't find up to par that day, give grace because tomorrow's a new day and look at the wins. Look at the wins that you, you did have, you know, maybe you didn't exercise for an hour today. Like your friend did that's okay. You know, maybe 10 minutes was enough or maybe you do it tomorrow. [00:14:37] Flexibility and grace, because when we, when we are hard on ourselves and we beat ourselves up, We take what could be a little frustration or a little, a little road bump, and we make it a huge, huge problem that snowballs inspiring spirals. Give yourself grace. [00:14:56] J.Rosemarie: Yeah. [00:14:57] Thank you. When did you realize [00:15:00] that? Therapyze yourself. [00:15:01] Carrie Leaf: Yeah. So therapize yourself, that title therapize. Isn't a real word. So, so that title, there's a couple of meanings to it. right when I, I, people would ask me, you know what, I'm what I'm in school for. What do I do for a living? And then they follow up. I tell them in the follow-up was always, oh, you therapizing me.[00:15:23] that's not a word. I don't even know what that means, but it always cracked me up. I always made me, you know, giggle and I, like, I just liked, I really liked the word. and then the other part, the other side to that is that we are our own best self healers, no provider, no therapist, no coach, no doctor knows you.[00:15:43] Like, you know, you and knows what is exactly right for you. Therapizing yourself. And, and my heart feels like empowering yourself, taking charge over your mind, body and spirit, and in taking that journey to [00:16:00] unlearn some things and relearn some things. But ultimately that journey back to who you are, your true self, your authentic self, not what we've been taught necessarily by society or been told or been put into a box, but take charge of.[00:16:15] Finding out who am I? And what do I like? And what do I not like? And what makes me feel joy and happiness and my best self. Find your best self therapize yourself. You're the one. You're your best self. [00:16:27] J.Rosemarie: I love it. I love it. Absolutely. And I agree with you. All right. So tell us, tell us how we could get in touch with you, where we could find you on the internet, et cetera. [00:16:37] Carrie Leaf: Yeah. To places that are going to be the easiest. My website, carrieleaf.com and then Instagram @carrieleafcoaching [00:16:47] J.Rosemarie: okay. Okay. Cool. Well thank you very much. Yes. And then talking to us today, anything else? , [00:16:53] Carrie Leaf: I think you had some great questions and nothing that is coming [00:17:00] off the top of my head. Other than if you want to start somewhere with, any problem in your life. [00:17:05] Like I said, that grace and baby steps, we don't change overnight. You know, it's, it's a journey. Take the baby steps and celebrate the wins along the way. [00:17:15] J.Rosemarie: Okay. Thank you very much for sharing with us and I hope you'll come back sometime. [00:17:20] Carrie Leaf: I would [00:17:21] love to. [00:17:21] J.Rosemarie: Yeah, [00:17:22] for sure. Thank you. [00:17:24] Carrie Leaf: Thank you.

Carrie LeafProfile Photo

Carrie Leaf

Psychotherapist & Holistic Mindset Coach

Carrie is a Mindset Coach & Psychotherapist. She specializes in behavior change, identifying and releasing negative thought processes, emotional healing, and increasing self-confidence to help you get unstuck & achieve success. In her recently released book Therapize Yourself: Choose to Heal and Find Your Truth, she presents a step-by-step program to bring out the best version of you by integrating the Mind, Body and Spirit.